So, it’s been a few months since I dropped the bomb that I’ve been dealing with mental health issues. Boy did it feel good to get that off my chest. I’ve never been the type to hide anything. I like leaving everything on the table and keep it pushing. I just wanted to give you guys an update.
First things first, I want to thank Houston Psychiatry for saving my life. My psychiatrist, Ms. Gwen, was amazing. If you’re in the Houston area and seeking help, please look into Houston Psychiatry.
Despite my tweets talking about what I’ve been going through, please understand that I’m feeling and doing much better. Everyday is a struggle, but I feel better. I know this is cliche, but when dealing with mental issues, you literally have to take life a day at a time. Anything else will overwhelm you.
I was diagnosed with a mood disorder, which is basically the beginning stages of Bipolar Disorder. Living with a Bipolar Disorder is tough. It’s more mentally draining than anything. Let me give you an example of a week with this disorder:
4 days out of the week I feel amazing, invincible, and untouchable. I feel like I can do things that are almost impossible to do like start a business in a day and do dangerous things and not get hurt. I feel like I don’t need sleep. I’ll feel like no one can tell me shit because I know more than you. This is usually when I go on my “Myleeza Rants”. It’s like you get these random, outrageous boosts of energy.
Then the rest of the week, I feel so depressed. I feel the lowest that I ever felt. I feel like a burden, useless, a flop and a failure, that nothing will ever go right for me again. I don’t eat. I sleep all day. I cry a lot. I just feel like a fuck up.
Right after that, I’m back feeling invincible.
Now, imagine living life like that. It mentally exhausts me so much. Luckily, I’m taking the steps to get better and learn how to live with it.
The ways I deal with it is by talking about it. I know my friends get tired of me talking about it, but it makes me feel so much better, plus that’s what friends are for. My friends have been so understanding through it all. I take my medication that calms me down and keeps me level. (S/o to that Abilify) Lastly, I hang around kids. Kids are so funny and innocent. Hearing their conversations crack me up. My little cousins are my best friends.
I want everyone that is dealing with mental issues to know that there is a light down the tunnel. Will you be miraculously healed? No, but there is a way to feel better. You don’t have to see-saw back and forth. There is a way to be stable; it just takes time. Don’t hide what you have. Tell your friends and family members that you are close to what you’re going through. Don’t have any close friends or family? Contact me. We can talk. I want to help you the same way someone helped me.
Thanks for all the love!